A Simple Framework for Effective 1:1s
That still works, even in an AI dominated world.
Most 1:1s fail quietly. They happen every week, but nothing actually changes. I wanted to write up my thoughts on effective 1:1s. I wanted something lightweight and actually useful to both new managers and those who have been leading longer. The underlying ideas in this article have helped me as a manager and are something I’ve reused across jobs, teams, and people. It has held up well.
If anything, this feels more relevant now than ever. As AI takes on more execution, the value of a manager shifts. Less about tracking work. More about clarity, judgment, and growth. 1:1s are where that actually happens.
This is not about adding meetings. It is about making your most important meetings useful.
Start With the Cadence
Before structure, get the cadence right.
1:1s should happen at a frequency and length that is actually useful for both sides. Not what the calendar says. Not just meeting for the sake of meeting.
Make it a joint decision between you and the IC.
Some people need weekly 30 minutes. Some benefit from biweekly but deeper sessions. Some may want shorter, more frequent check-ins during high-change periods. I’ve even had folks that wanted to do asynchronous 1:1s and that’s okay too.
The most important thing is that if it feels like a chore, the cadence is wrong. Fix that first!
The Structure
A good 1:1 should feel balanced. Not just status updates, not just venting, and not just career talk.
Here is the breakdown I try to adhere to:
10% Relationship Building
25% Wins
25% Frustrations
25% Projects
15% Feedback and Recap
If your 1:1s feel off, it is usually because one of these is missing or dominating. That said, I almost never run a 1:1 by walking through this list line by line. This is a framework, not a script.
The actual conversation should feel natural. It should feel like two people talking about real life, real work, real challenges, and real growth. Some weeks you might spend most of the time on frustrations. Other weeks it might be all about a project or a career conversation. The structure is in place so you don’t forget what matters.
How I Actually Use It
I keep my notes aligned to this structure, even if the conversation is not. I’m a huge fan of 9 boxes so this pattern also allows me to quickly capture patterns across a larger team:
Who is consistently delivering
Where frustration is building
Where growth is happening or stalling
What projects are moving or slipping
It also gives me a fast way to step back and assess performance, engagement, and development without reinventing the wheel every week.
Think of it less as a meeting agenda and more as a lens.
The Core Rule
Always make sure you get:
1 win
1 frustration
Then do the part most managers skip, acknowledge those points and ask real follow-ups. Not surface-level jargon, not performative rhetoric; actually engage.
Sometimes that means asking:
Why do you think that worked?
What would you do differently next time?
What part of that was frustrating?
Is that something we can fix or something we need to work around?
You are not just collecting answers. You are helping them think through small retrospectives of the work being done.
Make It Human
The best 1:1s are not rigid. They are conversational. Mentor through stories. Share context. Be willing to say:
“I’ve made that mistake before”
“Here’s how I would think about that”
“I’m not sure yet, but let’s work through it”
When appropriate, show some vulnerability and transparency. That builds trust faster than any process, in my experience. A casual tone does not mean a lack of direction.
It’s also important not to give them all the answers yourself. Explore the answers with them:
“What do you think you should do?”
“What tradeoffs do you see?”
“If you had to decide right now, what would you choose and why?”
Your job isn’t to be the answer key. It’s to build judgment. If they leave every 1:1 with your solution, they’re dependent on you. If they leave with better thinking, they are growing. Aim for the second.
Questions That Actually Work
You do not need a long list. You need a few consistent categories to keep you on track.
Wins
What were your wins since our last meeting?
Follow-up: Why did that work? What would you do again?
Frustrations
What frustrated you since our last meeting?
Follow-up: What is the root cause? What is in your control?
Projects and Execution
What are your current priorities?
What do you want to get done before our next meeting?
What blockers do you have?
What do you need from me? From others?
Open Space
Is there anything else you want to talk about?
Feedback and Recap
Give feedback using SBIF
Ask: What can I [as your manager] do to help you?
Recap next steps and ownership
What You Are Actually Managing
Most 1:1s drift because managers do not anchor them to outcomes. You are not just talking. You are managing three things:
Performance
Engagement
Development
If a 1:1 does not move one of these forward, it is probably wasted time.
In an AI-driven environment, this becomes more critical. Tools can accelerate delivery, but they cannot replace judgment, context, or trust. Those are built in the trenches and in conversations like these.
How I Think About Growth
When I evaluate someone’s growth, I break it into:
Scope. Are they working at the next level?
Delivery. Are they reliably executing?
Behaviors. Are they operating the way we expect?
You cannot coach effectively if you do not know which of these is off.
A Few Practical Reminders
Build a framework for blind spots
Code quality, system scale, team leveling, ownership, learning budget, help budget, and communication all have one thing in common. If you do not explicitly look for them, you will miss them every time.
Talk about risk clearly
Risk = Impact x LikelihoodMost teams only talk about impact. In my opinion, that is incomplete.
Bring the right people into the conversation
Misalignment kills execution. If priorities conflict, fix that at the system and team levels, not in a 1:1.
Create clarity on ownership
Everyone should know what everyone else is working on. Ambiguity creates friction and dropped work.
Reduce the bus factor
If one person disappearing breaks your team, that is a system problem.
Final Thought
A 1:1 is not a status meeting. Don’t let it become one. Instead, it is your highest leverage tool as a manager.
In a world where AI can generate code, summarize work, and even suggest decisions, your role becomes sharper, not smaller. You are responsible for direction, context, and developing people, just like it has always been.
If you are not learning something new about your team member each time you meet with them, or helping them move forward in a concrete way, you are leaving value on the table.